Life can be confusing and you may have questions.
It’s not always easy to ask questions about relationships or things that can hurt or even know the right questions to ask. So here it’s safe to ask. You ask, we answer. If you don’t see what you are looking for here, send us an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll post the answer. (All names are kept confidential.)
The sooner you address it the easier it will be to deal with. Many victims try to ignore it because they are embarrassed, they want to be liked or they are afraid of what the harasser will do. But if you let it go, the bully can get the message that their behavior is okay with you and then it could get out of control.
Do not participate or stand by and watch when it is happening. Step in (if it is safe) Report the incident to adults and other authorities.
This is no reason not to speak up and tell someone you trust. It’s a good idea to write everything about the event that you can remember: where it took place, what time of day it was, what exactly happened, what was said and how you felt. It is important that you speak up because the harasser may have done something similar to others, and the combined stories make it easier to prove.
Never judge a person on your first impression, which is usually about how they look.
Use a critical eye when viewing media and see if you can identify the messages being sent.
Check yourself for biases (unfairness or prejudice) and work to overcome them. Try to embrace differences, learn from them and not be afraid of them. See the person as an individual, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identify, or gender expression.
Absolutely not! It is important for all of us to make our own decisions about what we like to do regardless of what society tells us.
You can start by asking them what they mean. Then ask how they think a gay person may feel if they heard them say that. You might suggest that it’s not a good thing to say and see if there are other words they can use. Remind them that it’s good to understand what they’re saying, and think about the potential consequences of the words they choose. If it bothers you to hear them say it, tell them that too!
If no one else is doing somethiing to help, it is hard to go against the crowd. Or people may feel that they are risking embarrassment. Sometimes people think there is someone else in the group who is more qualified to help, or they think that the situation does not call for help since no one else is doing anything.
In a healthy relationship, there is respect and honesty between both people.You do activities together, like going to movies or out with other friends, and you talk to one another about how you feel. This means that you listen to each others thoughts and opinions and accept each others right to say no or to change your mind without giving each other a hard time. You should be able to let the other person know how you are feeling without fear of judgement or being criticized. You might disagree or argue sometimes, but in healthy relationships you should be able to talk things out to solve problems and without getting violent or abusive. Check out our RESPECT page for more info...
In an unhealthy relationship, you usually feel the exact opposite of how you feel when you’re in a “healthy relationship.” You and your partner don't usually feel good about each other or yourselves. Not all unhealthy relationships are abusive but sometimes they can include verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse.
Sometimes it may be hard to get out of an abusive relationship, because violent relationships often go in cycles. After a person is abusive, he or she may say sorry and promise never to hurt you again. They may even say that they will work on the relationship, and it may be awhile before that person acts abusive again. These ups and downs can make it hard to leave a relationship.
First, if you think that you are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, you should talk to a parent/guardian, friend, counselor, doctor, teacher, coach or other trusted person about your relationship. Tell them why you think the relationship is unhealthy or abusive and exactly what the other person has done. If needed, this person can help you contact others that can help you.
"When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you." — Lao Tzu